Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Letter writing day - Diabetes Blog Week

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Dear Doctors/Paediatricians,
I am angry. I am mad. I want to scream at you for not seeing that my daughter was sick. But as today’s topic for Diabetes blog week is to write a letter I will do that instead. The rage I feel thinking about what could have happened to my little girl if blood tests hadn’t finally been done can consume me sometimes. But God is gracious and He kept her in His hand. He protected her when even I couldn’t.
I have wanted to write to you for a while now to tell you of my disappointment with the quality of care my daughter received while your patient (understatement). She was a sick little girl when we came to you but you were dismissive of my concerns. She is my fourth daughter and I knew something wasn’t right. I knew it in my heart. But it to convince doctors like you with a feeling. She was so much smaller than my other girls. It just wasn’t right.
Yes she did start to put on a little bit of weight after she started on the Neocate formula as well as breast feeding. But the gains were smalls and each week as I checked her weight at the health clinic it went up a bit, down a bit and back up a little. Each kg took months and months. She would sweat when she fed like she had run a marathon. Her heart would races. I wondered if there was something wrong with her heart. No.
I told you her number of feeds and that she was weeing a lot. No red flags for diabetes there!! No, she looked to happy to be really ill. I would just have to accept she was going to be much smaller than my other children. You treated me like I was paranoid and only referred me when I insisted on some action.
She had to go through a gastroscopy because maybe she wasn’t digesting her food properly. When I think of putting my 7 months old daughter through that I weep. But I had to try and get some answers. Dr Gastro who said it wasn't diabetes, since when did you specialise in endocrinology? Argh.
I know that some of you wanted to help, you had concerns but you didn't know what to look for. I know you cared.
It makes me so angry to think of my little girl suffering for months and months as we waited for appointments, waited to see if the formula would make a difference, waited for tests. How much longer would she have survived without DKA and worse? When my GP finally rang with the test results and said go to the hospital right now I wasn’t shocked I was relieved we had an answer. One I had searched and fought for 6 long months. I am angry but mostly disappointed that a simple finger prick could have saved so much time and given her health sooner.

5 comments:

Cara said...

Doctors who ignor patient concers are all too common. Especially when the patients are mother's & their children. It's so sad because as parents you know more about your child than most doctors, but can't always put a name on it.

Vivian said...

This broke my heart and made me angry at the docs too. Cara is right, moms are the ones they should really listen to and yet they just think we are hysterical. Sending hugs your way.

monkeyschool said...

I am so sad to read your entry. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to go through a diagnosis with a tiny one that can't tell you how they are feeling. Cyber hugs your way.

Heidi / D-Tales said...

What a moving story! I believe in mother's intuition. I'm so sorry they didn't listen to you from the get-go.

Jules said...

Right there with You. Sometimes we have to insist.